Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
