And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I hate all girls vehemently.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
