I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
