Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
