In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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