Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
