You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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