Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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