that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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