I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
