There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I would ride that face into the sunset
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
