8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize