I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
