I just pynch a tree in the face
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
