Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
