Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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