Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
