Soap is not a condiment
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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