your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
