like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
