Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
