New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I could have mohawked her pubes.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
