Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
