Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
