actually, I'm a sock model
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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