im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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