Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
