It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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