great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize