hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
