I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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