NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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