She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
