I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I will be naked everywhere
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
