And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
