Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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