Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Me. At least after what I've been through.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
