No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We need a shit load of segways right now
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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