Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize