i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
