Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
