I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So squirting runs in the family.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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