Don't you send me to vm
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
