Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
