after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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