That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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