The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
