I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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