It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
