i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize