We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
