Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
