I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
