remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
