miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize