Where is the hickey?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
