a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize