she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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