new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
