Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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