it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
