Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
