I just pynch a tree in the face
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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