ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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