The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
