So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
