How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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